dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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