Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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