apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
3 2 1 whiskey
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
