I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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