I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
