im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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