I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize