Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
