No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i dont even know how to be here
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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