i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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