No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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