no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
