I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
The air taste purple.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
