I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
