Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
