I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize