stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
