My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
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