Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
