i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Randomize
