I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
vagina is talking i cant
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
