very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
