he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
