so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
