I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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