is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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