i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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