OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Randomize
