Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
