Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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