he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize