So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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