he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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