I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Farmville is her only friend.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
