Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
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