Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize