In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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