you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
