yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
then he tried to convert me to islam
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
