Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Randomize
