Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
