is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
