Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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