I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
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