p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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