ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Actions speak louder than pants.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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