I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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