Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
