Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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