the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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