yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
babies were throwing up all over the place
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
