I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
