real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
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