Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
