dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
