a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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