Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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