Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
