If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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