you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
