yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
