im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
This baby is an asshole
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
