he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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