There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
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