I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
