:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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