my being single is dangerous.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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